On Friday, September 13, 2019 at 11 p.m. (Yes, it was Friday the 13th!), there was a severe storm in my area of Atlanta. I heard buzzing in my house and wondered, “What is THAT noise?” I stepped out onto my front porch to take a look. I saw dark, heavy clouds appear overhead, listened to the thunder booming over and over and watched as lightning lit up the night sky.
I ran inside and began unplugging all of the electronics and yelled to my partner – Start Praying! I knew this storm was going to be a bad one. We prayed. Then we began visualizing pink and white healing light around our adjacent neighbor’s house as well as our own and the neighbor’s house across the street, which had been hit by a big poplar tree during a storm a year earlier (they had a new baby too!). I pulled out a Tibetan singing bowl and played it around my huge trees in my front and back yard. I urged my trees to stand strong against the storm.
All the trees were so still; there was no movement at all. I could feel chaotic energy building in the air and knew something had to break.
All of the sudden I heard a BOOM! The sound was so close! In that instant I smelled smoke. I said, “Do you smell it? Do you smell the smoke?!” I ran outside and saw that my neighbor’s house two doors down was on fire. I yelled Fire! And ran across the grass in my bare feet to the neighbor’s house. I pounded on the door along with another neighbor, and I yelled out their names. I was scared for the parents, their little boy and their new baby.
As it happened, they saw arcing electric outlets in the attic and ran with their babies and family dog to my neighbor’s house next door just before the lightning hit their house. My neighbor heard me bellowing his name from inside my next door neighbor’s house, came outside and shouted, “It’s OK, we’re safe!”
I looked down at my feet and realized I was standing on burning wood and left quickly. To my surprise, the fire did not burn my feet.
If you’ve read one of the previous stories I’ve written, you may recall I was burned in a house fire, which should have stopped me from taking action with this one. However, at the time all I could think about was I could not let this happen to my neighbors!
A massive oak took the brunt of the lightning strike; it traveled up one of the tree limbs and set a portion of the neighbor’s roof on fire. A great local response by nearby fire stations stopped the fire in its tracks. There is a scar on that tree now; I pray it, too, will be OK.
Controlling Chaos in Your Life
Sometimes, we are faced with situations that we can’t control; we can either take action or run away (the fight or flight syndrome). The same can be said for people. I learned as a teenager that you can’t change other people, only your reaction to them. If you are around someone who asks for direction but takes no responsibility, or someone who sees you in a way that you don’t see yourself, consider taking steps to minimize that person’s impact on you and your life.
Also consider that this person may be in your life to teach you something about yourself or perhaps you are there to teach that person something. In these situations ask yourself: Am I the Student, or Am I the Teacher?
MindBodyGreen suggests the following steps in order to take charge of relationships and situations.
- Choose compassion. By putting yourself in their shoes, you may see the cause of the chaos this person brings to you. Could the person be immature? Not in touch with their own feelings? Unable to accept that he or she is responsible for their own actions?
- Find the heart within. While someone may seem crass, egotistical and mean on the outside, their may be a small child within that still needs love – badly. MindBodyGreen suggests you pretend as if you are meeting the person for the first time. No past experiences. No expectations.
- Understand yourself. By becoming self-aware, you can realize why you are being triggered in any given situation that may annoy you or make you happy.
- Consider the Consequences. This is what I call “feeding the monster.” When you respond to someone in an angry manner it makes you feel bad inside, so why do it? MindBodyGreen suggests a healthier exchange or even a neutral one.
- Look for the Lesson. Why are you drawing a person, circumstances, situations or difficulties like this into your life? Once you figure out the lesson, you can minimize it or at least gain a healthy perspective. Likewise, this person may be showing you some aspect of yourself that you choose not to recognize or accept. Do you pass judgement? Do you accept other’s views? By acknowledging the lesson, it is much easier to not put the lesson “through the repeat cycle,” and move on with your life.
Two Situations: Two Different Outcomes
I keep a copy of the serenity prayer on my refrigerator. Here’s why: I realize there are things in life that are beyond my control. The serenity prayer is a simple way of reminding myself to respond appropriately whenever possible.
Last week, I “blew up” over a situation that had been building for a while. Instead of feeling better by finally giving in to my anger, I felt bad and a little nauseated by my outburst. I realized the importance of recognizing I was not in control of the situation; it was happening no matter what I thought about it. This realization enabled me to reach a level of acceptance.
The following day, after meeting with a client and doing healing work, I had another out-of-control situation where a driver purposely sideswiped my car to prevent me from merging into a lane. I was stunned, but because I had just worked with someone to promote healing, I was feeling love and kindness towards everyone. I was literally in a different “head space” than the previous day. In fact, much to my astonishment, I did not get angry at all. Instead, I felt compassion for that person. I realized that driver had so much anger inside it could only result in a lot of heartache and health problems. I said a prayer she would find happiness in her life.
Take Charge by Thinking Before You Act
Smart people know they need to wait a minute before reacting to situations. In an insightful article from Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps in Psychology Today, Dr. Becker-Phelps references a quote from Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl, which she calls, “creating a space between.”
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” – Victor Frankl
Rather than reacting without thinking, Dr. Becker-Phelps suggests finding new ways to respond.
- Consider the person you would like to be.
- Think about the meaning or origin of your reactions.
- Observe the outcome of your reactions.
- Imagine a better response.
- Be compassionate with yourself.
One of the keys to becoming a good psychic is to “get out of your own way.” That means being the person you were meant to be: compassionate and caring, non-judgmental, not changing what you “see” based on your own experiences, and being the kind of person your client needs in that moment (open and receptive). In fact, learning to be compassionate in the face of life’s challenges is one of the first steps you can take on the path to enlightenment. Meditation can also foster significant change in this direction.